A Tale of Two Teens

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.  574825-eugenie-bouchardThere in the deep dry  heat of Australia, 19 year old Eugenie Bouchard made Canada proud, becoming only the 2nd Canadian tennis player to make it to a Grand Slam semi-final. With personality, poise, professionalism, and skill, she won the hearts of "Genie's Army" and Canadian fans alike.

 

BBOn the other hand, in the humid wet heat of Miami, 19 year old Justin Beiber made the Ford List of Most Stupid Canadians by driving drunk, high, and prescriptioned, street racing and speeding twice the limit in a residential neighbourhood, driving with an expired licence,  and resisting arrest.  With arrogance, entitlement, ignorance and irresponsibility, he lost the hearts of "Beilibers" and Canadian fans alike.

For every Justin Beiber or Rob Ford, there is a Eugenie Bouchard or Naheed Nenshi to balance the forces of dark and light.

 

Choose your role models carefully my children.

*****

 

Skis Crease, Caledon

Oi, gevalt, Stephen! Such a fershtinkiner putz!

SaluteAh, Stephen, what you won't do to secure the loyalty of certain groups, well, at least the more conservative faction, in our multicultural Canadian society. Just think of the fundraising power, the business influence, the political lobbying power and the voter loyalty that your undying support for Israel will produce. Although your salute is a little too close to being insensitive. Oi vay!

And now, with your triumphant entry into Jerusalem, on your first actual visit to Israel, you and your business delegation will have secured a CRAP future. Although your welcome on the West Bank will undoubtably be cooler, there are not a lot of trade deals to win there, so no biggy. And besides, the way Netanyahu is building settlements, Palestine will disappear in a few years anyway. Displaced peoples are so inconvenient and get downright militant when they try to secure a homeland. I remember stories long ago of another group in the Middle East that tried this after World War 2 – lest we forget.Harperish

So Stephen, although you may try to hide your true intentions, we can see through the facade and know you are not playing with a full menorah. Your political researchers have served you well on how to maintain power in Canada. Such a macher, such a gonif!

Oi, Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

*****

Skid Crease, Caledon

Stupid People

I recently penned a Letter to the Editor for our local Caledon Enterprise newspaper, entitled, "It's time to stop being polite to stupid people." It was in reaction to a series of other back and forth letters from pet owners and step-in-doggy-doo hikers complaining about dog rights and dog waste and it was all just so stupid. Come on, if you have a pet and it dumps in public, scoop it up and dispose of it in the appropriate container – this is NOT a discussion item!

I then began to reflect on all the other stupid people that bother me – the ones who litter, who leave their cars/vans/trucks idling outside of homes or stores or schools. the cell phone distracted drivers (also smoking, sipping coffee and putting on makeup or a combination of all as I once witnessed), the Stop sign cruisers, the school zone speeders, the ATV/snowmobile racers in residential neighbourhoods and parks, the snow shovellers who push their load into the street, and the triple space parkers with their big butt pick-ups.

Now, I know none of us are perfect. but let me give you an example. Outside our local convenience store one hot summer night, I encountered a person who diagonally parked his pickup truck across two special needs wheelchair parking spaces, and left the truck running. I went into the store and asked who had done this. A man belligerently answered, "Me, you got a problem?" I responded, "No, but I think the spaces are reserved for the PHYSICALLY challenged." His mouth dropped open, the store owner guffawed, and I left.

Once, after a series of environmental speaking engagements, Dr. Wiliam Fyfe took me aside at intermission and broke down. "Skid," he said, "I've been lecturing about environmental issues for 30 years and nothing is getting any better!" He proceeded to list off the decline in topsoil, fisheries, forests, productive farmland, aquifers, and so on and then grabbed me by the arm. "We smile and bow at all these international conferences and treaties while Japan and Norway and Iceland continue to kill off the great whales with impunity. It's time to stop being poilte to stupid people."

From the global oceans to our own backyards, it's time to stop being polite to stupid people. Period.

******

Skid Crease, Caledon

Pachamama and Oilpatchapapa

When Bolivia's parliament passed the Pachamama, or "Mother Earth Law", it heralded a new era of environmental awareness and action. Guided by Evo Morales, an indigenous leader elected to an absolute majority in 2005, Bolivia has carefully moved toward the Pachamama law, challenging both the UN and multinational mining companies in the process. This is one of the first laws that grants legal rights to nature, so that the government, not just the Lorax, speaks for the trees.

Stephen Harper is busy drafting his own version, know as the "Oilpatchapapa Law". This law, carefully drafted by the Conservative Reform Alliance Party of Canada with the full approval of the Canadian Association of Petroleum Producers, gives oil companies unfettered rights to extract, export and profit from any oil that it can find anywhere, anytime, under or on Canadian soil.

Wait, that already passed with the last Omnibus Budget Bill. Thank you Joe Oliver and Ducks Unlimited, whose former executive now sits on the National Energy Board that just granted approval to the Northern Gateway Pipeline. 

Sorry Mom, sorry kids. Bad daddy.

*****

Skid Crease, Caledon