“I haven’t seen the video yet, but I can guarantee all hard-working, law-abiding, tax-paying Canadians that the lone Parliament Hill shooter was an ISIL recruited jihadi terrorist determined to terrorize all Canadians with terror. And we should all be very afraid. I was really afraid when I was hiding in the closet.”

“I haven’t read any of the scientific reports, but I can assure you that there is no such thing as acclerating climate change.”

“The approval of the Keystone XL Pipeline is a no-brainer.”

“I love the Canadian Arctic – it’s such a great locale for my media team to do a summer photo shoot.”

“Let me be absolutely clear on this matter; If you are an ethnic group with a big supportive voting block, I will certainly look like I care about you. If not, you are of no political value to me. Go to the back of the line.”

“Clearly, the loss of Sun Media was a major blow to our propaganda machine; but now we have hired our own “news” marketing company to keep Canadians well-informed.”

“Those who claim that Bill C51 is a dangerous violation of civil rights also believe in evolution, climate change, and social justice. They have no place among hard-working, law-abiding, tax-paying Canadians.”

Taken from Quotes By Fictional Leaders published by Vanity Press, October 19, 2015.

*****

Skid Crease, Caledon