Category Archives: Humour

Alberta Bound

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It was a good day for Canada!

On October 19, 2026, Albertans went to the polls. There were ten questions on a lengthy and complicated ballot, but only one really mattered to the health of the sovereign nation of Canada. The tenth question asked whether Alberta should remain within Canada or pursue a path toward a binding referendum on separating from Canada. The results were decisive. Over 1.5 million citizens cast their ballots to ensure that Alberta remain a province in Canada.  They won with over 75% of the vote – that’s a convincing majority by any standard.

For me this vote was particularly meaningful. In my many years of travel across Canada, the landscape of Alberta became part of my DNA. I have canoed the Bow River, hiked the Plain of Six Glaciers trail in Lake Louise, marvelled at the beauty of the Moraine Lake Rockpile trail in Banff, driven the majestic Icefields Parkway, and re-energized my teaching spirit at countless outdoor and experiential education conferences in magnificent Kananaskis country. From hoodoos to hot springs, from oil rigs to cattle ranches, from honouring First Peoples Treaty rights to hosting Olympic Games, from the Calgary Stamped to Drumheller dinosaurs, Alberta is an integral part of our history and future.

From the early 1970’s to the present day, Alberta became part of my DNA. One of my lifelong friends, and one of the wisest educators I know, lives in Calgary.  We shared many Alberta Teacher conferences in Kananaskis country over the years. He helped plan my wedding, and reception in a beautiful outdoor ceremony on the banks of the Bow River all under the gaze of the Three Sisters. Alberta memories are held deep in my heart. That is why I am so happy that we didn’t separate.

Still, there is a quarter of the Alberta voting population that chose to leave Canada. So, until the long emigration to Montana is complete, it would not be a good idea to wear  “Fuddle Duddle“, “Just Watch Me“, or “A Canadian is a Canadian is a Canadian” T-shirts in certain areas of Alberta. In places like Central Peace-Notley, Innisfail, Spirit River, Fairview, Falher, and Olds-Didsbury-Three Hills, those “The Father and Son Who Must Not Be Named” sentiments run deep.

It’s like bringing up the name of former Premier Mike Harris at an educator’s reunion of those who taught during the Common Nonsense Revolution. This too shall pass. The way I see it.

Skid Crease, Canada

 

The First Snow Flurries

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It was a cold morning, October 17, 2026, 7:00 a.m. when I felt a lightly stinging rain on my cheeks. Then I looked down at my Border Collie’s fur. We were caught in a sudden snow flurry blowing in from the northwest. It was over almost as soon as it started, but it was delightful. I Border Collie jumps in the snow Border Collie jumps in the snow in the top of the mountain border collie snow stock pictures, royalty-free photos & imagestook a quick picture of the light snow on a very happy Chase and sent it to my family when we got home. Their online responses varied from “wtf  for real?” to
“too soon!!!!!!!!!!!”

Chase didn’t mind the snow at all.
He just shook it off.

*****
*above image is of another Border Collie having fun in the snow.

Trump and The AI Accord

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This is  going to be a very short entry. President Donald J. Trump announced today his confidence that his AI Accord would take care of all of our concerns about AI’s potential destruction of humanity.

This Accord is approved by Mark Zuckerberg as he, the man who co-developed Facebook as a way to  identify all the hot chicks on campus, downplayed concerns about runaway AI.

So, a conflicted felon, unabashed liar, tax dodger and person convicted of sexual assault, AND a Harvard Alpha Epsilon Pi frat boy approve of the  tech company self policed AI Accord. What could possibly go wrong?

We are living in very dangerous times. The way I see it.

Kakistrocracy

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The word “kakistocracy” was introduced to the English lexicon in the seventeenth century and used during the English Civil War between King Charles I and Oliver Cromwell. it means: “Government by the worst. least qualified and most unscrupulous people.” Isn’t it ironic that another King Charles now sits on the English throne as kakistocracy reigns supreme in his lost colony of the Republic of America.

Basically, in modern times, “kakistocracy” could refer to the advisers and government of the USA under President Donald J. Trump, including, but not limited to: J.D. Vance, Pete Hegseth, Howard Lutnick, Susie Wiles, Stephen Miller, Pete Navarro, Dan Scavino, Will Scharf, and Elon Musk. Missing on leave, but not forgotten, is the shameless Caroline Leavitt, the President’s pure white Christo-fascist Stepford clone Press Secretary. The President’s delusions now pass through Steven Cheung, his Director of Communications.

It is only when we see Canada’s current Prime Minister, the calm, intelligent, respectful and courageous Mark Carney stand up to the bullies that we can clearly understand the idiocy that has infected USA politics. In response to the latest tantrum thrown by the USA government into their current trade war with the world, Carney responded, “When the Americans stop doing memes, stop throwing shade, stop trying to be tough and start being serious about having those discussions, we can have those discussions.”

Let’s hope the midterm elections in the USA shift the control of their destiny back to an intelligent democracy loving population and away from the kakistrophic maggats. If not, we’re going to need a Canadian population truly ready to put their elbows up to protect the world. In defence of the Global Commons – from Lake Ontario to the Gulf of Mexico. from Gaza to Cuba to Venezuela.

This comic reality show has become a horror movie and we need to change the channel Immediately.

The way I see it.

***

Skid Crease, Caledon

 

 

 

The Naming Room, a satire

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There is a huge room hidden deep underground at the Mar a Lago Golf Resort in Florida. It is the infamous Presidential NAMING ROOM. The Orange House, the new official home and office of the President of the United States, rises above ground shielding the Naming Room from intelligent thought and international law.

On this particular day, the President had summoned his favourite “YES” team of adoring acolytes to redraw a map of the world. The Don called attendance. “J.D.?” ‘Praise be, my Lord,” responded J.D. “Pete?” “Hooah, Commander!” shouted Pete with an enthusiastic fist pump. “Howard?” Silence. “HOWARD?” Howard “Sorry, My Liege, I was just catching up on the latest articles in “Seventeen.”

Marker Pen Pictures | Download Free Images on Unsplash“I have already decided,” stated the President, “to rename the World.” The YES team nodded in rapturous agreement. “We are going to rename Earth “Kallstadt” after my German Grandfather and Grandmother.””Whoa!”” cried Howard. “I thought your family was Swedish.”

The Don snickered, “That’s what we told people to avoid offending our Jewish clients in the real estate industry in New York. Yep, our family has been liars ever since we emigrated here from Germany,”

“I’m uncomfortable with this meeting,” whined  Howard.
“Would you be more comfortable if I released the full Epstein flight logs?” The Don snapped.  Howard fell silent.

“Next,” said the President, We are going to rename Israel as Jesus Land. I haven’t told Bibi yet.”
“Hooah!” shouted Pete, realizing his born-again ChristoFascist dream had finally come true, but totally unaware of the consequences. Like, that he would be destroying the teachings of peace, love, and groovy.

“OK, and after we rename every water body in the world as Gulf, Ocean, lake, river stream, pond. slough as America,” crowed The Don, ” I have scheduled our invasion of Canada. We will take ungrateful Canada as the 51st State in a secret attack in the spring of 2027!”

There was a stunned silence from the YES team. “Our Lord,” they cried in unison. “but Canada breeds Black Flies in May and June, and Mosquitoes in July and August!” “And then, Our Most Holy, the temperature drops and our camouflage suits are set for deserts and not the multi-coloured northern forests of September and October!”

“What’s worse,” whimpered Caribbean St. James Island loving Lutnick, “the frost starts in November, and winter freeze-up sets in from December until March! Can’t we just get our oil from Venezuela? It’s the same very dirty, thick, heavy crude as from Alberta.  And we could claim Cuba as the 51st State and reopen all the Havana Casinos to our billionaire buddies.”

The Don put down his Magic Sharpie, blank map of the world, and opened a new container of phentermine, and paused. “We’ll invade on Memorial Day in May – it will be a celebration of our military might! It will be the BIGGEST SURPRISE INVASION IN THE HISTORY OF PLANET AMERICA!”

Pete fist pumped, J.D. prayed, and Howard wet himself.

***

It took 50 Back Hawk helicopters (and one Golden Eagle helicopter named by Sharpie Executive Order for the President) to evacuate the invading forces. It was a blueberry  pollinating, black fly infested day in May, 2027 when another attempt by the Republic of America failed to conquer Canada. A fleet of Swedish-Canadian Gripon jets over the Great Canadian Lakes kept the skies safe for us all. In a strange twist of fate, German made submarines patrolled our coastlines, protecting us from the disease infested USA aircraft carriers and destroyers.

Oh, Canada!

“Give us a Lake to Swim, and a Lake to Row
And call this Lake Ontario!
A lake to swim, a lake to row
Lake Ontari-ari-ario!”

I stood with my mom and watched Marilyn Bell come out of the water in 1954. I was eight years old. She was the first recorded person ever to complete the swim across lamprey eel infested Lake Ontario. This woman stands head and shoulders above the man with the Magic Sharpie. It will always be Lake Ontario – from First People’s history to the best of our colonial heroes. This is our place to stand and grow! The way I see it.

Skid Crease, Caledon

***