There is a beauty to political cartoons that captures the essence of a moment in one visual that a thousand words could not explain. A few days ago, I asked a young friend, artist and blacksmith-in-training Chris Dywanski, to see if he could come up with images that could capture the ludicrous nature of a megalomanic dictator using a Finnish leaf rake to stop the California wildfires, or a magic wand that could bring back GM factories.

This is the true magic of creativity. Fellow organisms on Planet Earth, I introduce to you political cartoonist, Chris Dywanski.

• Images are copyright protected.

in response to my recent blog on Caledon’s Election Commandments, one reader commented: “Wow, does that leave us anyone to vote for, cause I think not from this statement. How do we find the least of all evils?” Actually, dear readers, there are some ethical choices that electors can make for a respectful, consensus building Council, and some that will lead us into four years of grandstanding chaos.

This week I received the responses to my “Candidates’ Candor” questionnaire and the answers were illuminating – beacons of hope for our elected representatives. Of course, those who responded did so with clean records behind them and aspirations to serve ahead of them. It was almost more telling who chose NOT to respond.

I know that, as a journalist, I am supposed to be non-partisan in synthesizing these answers, but having spent a year on the Town Council media desk watching the proceedings, my perspectives have been hardened into Moses-like stone tablets. I have been to the mountain and I have seen the light. So, consider this purely an opinion piece.

First, the only Mayoralty Candidate not guilty of violating the commandments is Allan Thompson. Note that Mayor Thompson was found NOT Guilty on the false charges brought to bear against him by another Mayoralty candidate. Note that this candidate was reported to have “dropped” the charges she initiated against Mayor Thompson. Not quite. She only dropped the second set of charges she made against Mayor Thompson and Councillor McClure. She not only LOST on her initial charges, but was required to pay over $80,000 in court costs.  Oops, thou shalt not bear false witness.

Note that the third Mayoralty candidate was found guilty by Caledon’s Integrity Commissioner during her brief first term of violating the Town’s Code Of Conduct, and by Peel Region Heritage Board of issuing racial slurs. Also recently supported another Peel Region Councillor’s e-mail use of racial slurs. Oops, thou shalt love thy neighbour.

Secondly, while most incumbents conducted themselves with intelligence and as much respect as they could muster, other incumbents seemed not to have read, or at the least not to have comprehended staff reports, Those who asked only questions of clarification, or defended the integrity of the Town Council and staff made it to the “Dream Team” list.

Thirdly. the last decade has seen a litigious relationship fester between a local developer and the Caledon Chamber of Commerce toward the Town of Caledon – that means at least three candidates are automatically eliminated from the intelligent choices list. You can have a Town nurtured by a democratic electorate, or you can have a Town controlled by private money (see the Globe & Mail investigation, May 2018).

Next, any candidate who has taken to using social media ghouls to flog their message and attempt to smear legitimate candidates is eliminated.

Also, any candidate who has no agricultural background and/or knowledge of the Peel and Caledon Food Charter is eliminated.

And finally, any political advertising attempting to pull the “purple wool” over your eyes is eliminated.

So, based on those criteria, I will publish my “Dream Team” and my “Scream Team” results in the next few days.

The way I see it.

***

Skid Crease is a member of the Canadian Association of Journalists, an author, an internationally respected speaker, an admired outdoor and environmental educator, and a lifelong learner.

originally published for Patti Foley’s Just Sayin’ Caledon

***

With the first summer of the Backyard Hens demonstration project successfully completed, it’s time for a cluckingly brilliant update.

To begin, the hysterical concerns from certain politicians and their resident coven of followers about backyard hens wiping out the businesses of the fowl farmers in Caledon, spreading avian flu across the Region of Peel, and infecting Caledon chicken lovers with salmonella turned out to be FALSE. The salmonella bacteria that avian species carry in their guts for digestion was defeated by a new medical miracle called … hand washing!

So far this year in North America, Zero – O – deaths from salmonella infections, although a few dozen people came down sick after eating President’s Choice chicken meat products. Our hens and their organic, free-run eggs are in the clear.

Much like the fears about “hydrogen bombs” at the Canadian Tire Distribution Centre, and the concept of a “freight village” destroying the rustic atmosphere of the quaint rurban town of Bolton, the hysteria turned out to be classic fear mongering spread by ignorance.

It should be noted however, that in 2018 the bacteria that we mammals carry in our intestinal flora, E.coli, killed 5 people in the U.S. and sickened over 200. Canada only reported eight sick people in all and no deaths. Maybe we should wash our hands more after a visit to the throne room, and not drink water downstream from manure piles.

On a healthier and happier note, we now have two demonstration flocks – our four prolific Golden Girls, and our four Canadian Heritage Chanteclers. Those eight hens laid organic Omega 3 enriched free-run eggs every day and weathered both heat waves and torrential downpours. From May through to the end of August those girls produced over 720 eggs – that’s 60 dozen healthy, home grown eggs!

The only accident all summer long at the Farm was when I cut my finger moving a piece of equipment. When a non-supportive local politician saw my bandaged finger and asked what had happened, I replied “Chicken duty.” Her eyes glowed with anticipation, thinking that I had been attacked and pecked close to death by an angry flock, thus proving her theory of the dangers of backyard hens. Apologies to the “over eager for a crisis” politician, but as Wesley says in The Princess Bride, “Get used to disappointment.”

In an attempt to educate this same politician, I invited her to the Farm to meet the Golden Girls. “Are they dirty?” she asked. I sighed, “They’re chickens. They bathe in dust. WTC?!” So much education to complete, so little time. Losing patience. Do NOT re-elect!

For the education of the rest of our citizens, both demonstration coops will be open for visiting at the Albion Hills Community Farm Honey Garlic Festival on Saturday, September 29, 2018 from 12:00 to 5:00. The demonstration coops and runs, which conform precisely to Caledon’s Backyard Hen By-law, will be dedicated that day to the Krick Family, whose daughters and their Christmas chickens were the inspiration for the by-law.

Come out and meet Clovis and Bee, our Honey Garlic Festival Mascots, and the “Chicken Whisperer” who will be introducing you to the Golden Girls and the Chanteclers. It’s eggsactly the kind of thing to do on a fall weekend in Caledon – celebrating our right to grow local food and celebrate our deep and abiding connection to agriculture.

The way I see it.

***

Skid Crease is a member of the Canadian Association of Journalists, an author, an internationally renowned speaker, and a lifelong educator currently living in Caledon, Ontario.