Lifting the Niqab on the Economy

Posted on March 15, 2015 by Skid

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Breaking News!

Yes, Canada, “Our Government™” has carefully and modestly kept it’s economic agenda hidden behind a PMO niqab, a veil of mystery that hides the faces of the Prime Minister and his Finance Puppet. Like the hands up the backside stuffed stars of the well-intentionned Canadian movie, “Two Muppets in Ottawa”, they are frantically trying to cope with $45 dollar a barrel oil in the world of descending Canadian dollar value, rising unemployment, and chaotic stock markets.

The niqab of choice used to disguise their real agenda is the “Terror Niqab” intended to convince hard-working, law-abiding, tax-paying Canadians that there is a jihadist recruiter behind every Tim Horton’s dark roast store (those blackened out windows have to be hiding something).

The vision of Canada as an “Energy Superpower” with “Our Government’s™” head completely buried in bitumen may be in serious trouble, but “Our Government™” has an “Economic Action Plan™” that will help to bring back prosperity. Just keep your faces uncovered at the next Citizenship swearing in ceremony and it will all be better. Let your women make only fashion choices dictated by “Our Government™” and we will rise from the ashes of jihadist terror.

A diversified economy? Alternative energy research and development? Jobs creation programs? A carbon tax? A budget statement? Easy Canada – don’t be distracted from the real issue – the niqab!

“Trust me,” says “Our Government’s™” Prime Minister, “I never wear a mask…”

*****

Skid Crease

Famous Emperor Harper Quotes

Posted on March 5, 2015 by Skid

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“I haven’t seen the video yet, but I can guarantee all hard-working, law-abiding, tax-paying Canadians that the lone Parliament Hill shooter was an ISIL recruited jihadi terrorist determined to terrorize all Canadians with terror. And we should all be very afraid. I was really afraid when I was hiding in the closet.”

“I haven’t read any of the scientific reports, but I can assure you that there is no such thing as acclerating climate change.”

“The approval of the Keystone XL Pipeline is a no-brainer.”

“I love the Canadian Arctic – it’s such a great locale for my media team to do a summer photo shoot.”

“Let me be absolutely clear on this matter; If you are an ethnic group with a big supportive voting block, I will certainly look like I care about you. If not, you are of no political value to me. Go to the back of the line.”

“Clearly, the loss of Sun Media was a major blow to our propaganda machine; but now we have hired our own “news” marketing company to keep Canadians well-informed.”

“Those who claim that Bill C51 is a dangerous violation of civil rights also believe in evolution, climate change, and social justice. They have no place among hard-working, law-abiding, tax-paying Canadians.”

Taken from Quotes By Fictional Leaders published by Vanity Press, October 19, 2015.

*****

Skid Crease, Caledon

The Federal Party That Gets My Vote

Posted on February 9, 2015 by Skid

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There is supposed to be a federal election in Canada on October 19, 2015. Of course that is all dependent on oil prices, the Mike Duffy trial, and “wag the dog” terror alerts. On the other hand, by then enough members of federal parliament may have crossed the floor to the opposition parties to make an election unnecessary .

Whatever happens, the Party for whom I vote will champion the following policies: a carbon tax; elimination of subsidies to oil, gas, and coal industries; strong financial support for alternative energy research and development,; a polluter pay/precautionary principle applied to all industry; the return of the Long Form Census; and the creation of a Minister of Ecology who is on equal footing with the Minister of Economy, both of whom report to the Minister of the Environment who is second in rank only to the Prime Minister.

I will vote for the Party that balances social justice with economic development, that stops talking about hard-working, law-abiding, tax-paying Canadians, and starts talking about ALL Canadians.

I will vote for the Party that eliminates every Economic Action Plan ad and logo ever created, and invests an amount equal to all of the money wasted on those ads into a Commission for the Missing and Murdered Aboriginal Women.

I will vote for a Party the resurrects, refines, and passes the Kelowna Accord. And National Child Care.

I will vote for the Party that truly honours our veterans, stops using our armed forces as backdrops for their election campaigns and starts doing something about their need for the best equipment when in harms way, and their need for medical care and support when they return home.

I will vote for the Party that recognzes the impact of accelerating climate change, renews it’s commitment to the original Kyoto Protocl, and leads the world in inspiration and action at the Paris Climate Summit.

I will vote for the Party that is strong on peace, strong on the values of a just society, and is defenders of those who have no voice in this world.

I will vote for the Party that disregards those with the most money and power, and does not cater to the ideologies of ethnic groups only to secure their votes.

I will vote for the Party that raises taxes on corporations and the wealthiest .1%, while closing all of their tax evasion loopholes at the same time.

I will vote for the Party that reforms the last two Omnibus Bills, restores environmental security for our watersheds, rivers, lakes, acquatic life, and brings back the independence of environmental reviews.

I will vote for the Party that blends Proportional Representation into the First Past the Post electoral process, while banning election campaign Robocalls.

If anyone finds a Party out there who can do all that, let me know. Hope springs eternal.

*****

Skid Crease, Caledon

It’s My Future, Dad

Posted on October 26, 2014 by Skid

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A magazine arrived in the mail the other day from my car dealership – I found it opened up at my breakfast place to a spread about the new hydrogen fuel cell concept car billed as the "Next Generation Mobility" – my son smiled cleverly, "It's my future, Dad."

We have long been awaiting that fulfillment of dream to reality, of a vehicle that only vents water vapour from its exhaust pipe, and here it was in front of me with my morning porridge. Calculating three more years of high school, my youngest son's planning might be pretty good. The company that makes my vehicle has never failed to impress me, beginning with their research and application of re-generative braking energy storage and hybrid gas/electric vehicles. But hydrogen fuel was always the holy grail. The quandry was where to fill up?

The problem, of course, is production and storage. If you want fuel cells produced and hydrogen fuel available, then you need a production centre (electrolysis, or steam methane reforming) and a distribution centre. Many facilities across North America, recognizing the benefits of clean energy, now have specially protected storage areas for storing liquid hydrogen, and some even have the capacity to produce on site. Given that the safety risk of hydrogen can be even lower than that of gasoline, we should be more concerned about our dirty fossil fuel storage (and emissions) at the gas stations in our neighbourhoods.

In my community, misguided citizens and overzealous lobbyists have tried to portray hydrogen as an extreme safety risk for local residents. If you want to create a crisis, like climate change deniers do, you just co-op a gullible media. The latest attempts influenced local reporters and even Star reporter San Grewal to try their best to create an issue over the possibility that Town Council would even consider the concept of hydrogen fueled fork-lifts and trucks at the new Canadian Tire facility in Caledon. I live in Caledon. This project was advertised from the beginning as a high tech, clean energy facility, so the discussion of hydrogen fuel is no big surprise. In fact, it is a welcome proposal.

Hydrogen fuel cell use and even on-site hydrogen production have been taking place at facilities across North America for over a decade with a clean safety record. But the media misinformed and alarmed local residents with headlines declaring "Safety at issue" and "Project poses 'extreme' fire protection risk". Let me assure you that hydrogen fuel cells are far safer than disingenuous reporters and lobbyists.

Imagine energy refueling stations of the future with electricity and hydrogen outlets. They may eventually come to our neighbourhoods as long as we don't let the tiny, enraged mob with torches and pitchforks try to destroy the dream.

My first choice for my young son was the horse and buggy, but we already have enough horse excrement in Caledon. Hopefully, when he buys his first hydrogen fuel cell car, he may even be able to get it filled up close to home. The future will come if we let it.

*****

Skid Crease, Caledon

Rob Ford: just your average crack-smoking, drunken ranting, gang banging politician

Posted on March 4, 2014 by Skid

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Dear Rob,

Please do not be so humble. You are not "just an average, hard-working politician" as you claimed Monday night on the Jimmy Kimmel show. You are exceptional in every sense of the word. Your brother is exceptional too in his support and praise of you. Kind of like the families of those rock star wannabes who try out for American Idol. The ones who can't hit a single note on key, but whose families think they have voices like angels and they get all upset when the judges kick them off the show. Last night , your exceptionality was so obvious that Jimmy Kimmel even recommended on International televison that you get help for it.

It was particularly exceptional this past week when you held a press conference to challenge the Chief of Police of Canada's largest city to arrest you. You couldn't seem to understand that your history of drunk and distracted driving, famiiy violence, association with drug dealers, a video extortion scheme whose players were involved in murder, robbery and assault, and your televised racist and homophobic drunken rants may have attracted the Chief's attention.

For every nickel you may have saved the great City of Toronto, we paid for in shame a thousand time over.

No Rob, you are not average. Time to admit it.

*****

Skid Crease, Caledon