Ah, Stephen, what you won't do to secure the loyalty of certain groups, well, at least the more conservative faction, in our multicultural Canadian society. Just think of the fundraising power, the business influence, the political lobbying power and the voter loyalty that your undying support for Israel will produce. Although your salute is a little too close to being insensitive. Oi vay!

And now, with your triumphant entry into Jerusalem, on your first actual visit to Israel, you and your business delegation will have secured a CRAP future. Although your welcome on the West Bank will undoubtably be cooler, there are not a lot of trade deals to win there, so no biggy. And besides, the way Netanyahu is building settlements, Palestine will disappear in a few years anyway. Displaced peoples are so inconvenient and get downright militant when they try to secure a homeland. I remember stories long ago of another group in the Middle East that tried this after World War 2 – lest we forget.

So Stephen, although you may try to hide your true intentions, we can see through the facade and know you are not playing with a full menorah. Your political researchers have served you well on how to maintain power in Canada. Such a macher, such a gonif!

Oi, Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

*****

Skid Crease, Caledon

The recent by-election results in Ontario could be very bad news for the righties in Toronto. Toronto Council will be losing the reasonably competent Doug Holyday and Rob Ford will be losing a key ally. Provincially, Holyday's voice will unfortunately be neutered as an Opposition MPP, and locally a Ford-unfriendly Council could bypass an election and appoint a burr under the cheeks of Doug and Rob.

Well, it's official. I've been a very bad boy according to Our Government. So bad that I am classified as "an enemy" of the CRAP that rules the country. I found out when a friend who runs a political advisory company emailed me to sympathize that we had been branded. It wasn't a public humiliation where six squad cars of black ops police without name badges pull up to your home, drag you out and beat you, while those other guys with the big hats and red coats repeatedly taser you into submission. No, this is a lot more subtle, like that election fraud that never happened.

You are simply ghosted – Our Government won't answer your mail, emails, or tweets with anything other than a non-committal talking points response, if at all. You don't get invited to any speaking engagements, fundraisers, fishing trips, or caucus meetings. Your chances of receiving a plum appointment or a patronage grant are less than a snowball's chance in hell. You may find yourself stopped at the border as a security risk, especially if you are known to subscribe to nature magazines or other eco-terrorist resources like the IPCC Assessment Reports on Climate Change. And may the gods have mercy on you if you are a supporter of the David Suzuki Foundation.

Now I am part of that shunned minority of 70% of Canadians who no longer support Our CRAP Government.

I watched Michael Moore's Capitalism: a Love Story the other night (also on the enemy list). It reminded me with shocking clarity why I became an enemy of a government committed to the partisan promotion of profit over social justice, environmental literacy, and economic security for all Canadians. You forgot the old adage, Mr. Harper: Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. As Attila the Hun revealed in his Leadership Secrets: "Do not underestimate the power of an enemy, no matter how great or small, to rise against you on another day." Let the games begin.

*****

Skid Crease, Caledon