After the War of 2018, Calerin (or Duffedon as those north of 9 like to imagine it) had separated from the Region of Peel, and the cities of Brampton and Mississauga had merged to become the Kingdom of Bramauga …
***
At the dawn of the 2020’s, the peoples of Calerin were enslaved by the rulers of Bramauga, and by wealthy overlords who owned the rulers. Even their own delegates had been bought by the overlords and were about to turn the Town of Calerin over to the highest bidder.
Then, just as hope for democracy was fading, She appeared on the horizon, shafts of the morning sun illuminating her flowing hair like a Beyoncé video! She had gone to Caledon Mountain to hear the words of the Great Spirit That Loves Life to receive the prophecy that would guide a just society.
She stood tall before the Oracle and asked, “Stone tablets?” “No.” replied the Oracle in a Sarah McLachlan-like voice. “They didn’t work well the last time the men did this. Let’s go with Skid’s blog.” And so it came to be that the “Ten Commandments for an Intelligent Electorate” were handed down from Caledon Mountain (well, actually a hill, especially if you come from Kananaskis country in Alberta) and she spoke in her best Yul Brunner impression,
“Let it be texted, let it be done!”
1. Thou shall not elect a person who has violated the Municipal Code of Conduct and been found guilty.
2. Thou shall not elect a person who has been found guilty of racist slurs.
3. Thou shall not elect a person who has used social media to smear another candidate.
4. Thou shall not elect a person who has either ignorantly or maliciously misinformed and mislead their constituents.
5. Thou shall not elect a person who is in the pocket of private interests.
6. Thou shall not elect a person who pads his or her resumés.
7. Thou shall not elect a person who creates a crisis where there is none.
8. Thou shall not elect a person who has brought false witness to bear against a sitting candidate.
9. Thou shall not elect a coven, or a single member thereof.
10. Thou SHALL elect good, honest, respectful, intelligent, empathetic persons.
And the Oracle was quiet. She came down the mountain with the words of wisdom, but it was too late. The people who had been so eager to receive her words only hours ago were now drinking corporate coffee from a drive-through and watching American Real Housewives and the Trump Reality Presidency Show.
“Oh well,” she sighed. “We’ll save these for the survivors of the Apocalypse.”
***
The way I see it.
Consider that Ford calculated that he was not going to beat John Tory in the next municipal election. Consider the possibility that the smear campaign against Patrick Brown was an inside job orchestrated by a far right team who calculated Ford had a better chance going into the Provincial leadership cauldron. Consider that Ford did not win the majority of votes in either the Progressive Conservative leadership debacle, nor in the provincial election. Yet, he is now PCPO Leader and Ontario’s Premier.
We could look south of our border for a cautionary tale if we need incentive. Both leaders are cut from the same playbook and both play to the lowest common denominator of the human condition. Ontario and Toronto deserve better.
On September 17, 2018 this questionnaire is being emailed personally to every candidate running for Town Council in the 2018 Municipal Election in Caledon, Ontario. All responses, or lack thereof, will be reported in the first week of October.
To begin, the hysterical concerns from certain politicians and their resident coven of followers about backyard hens wiping out the businesses of the fowl farmers in Caledon, spreading avian flu across the Region of Peel, and infecting Caledon chicken lovers with salmonella turned out to be FALSE. The salmonella bacteria that avian species carry in their guts for digestion was defeated by a new medical miracle called … hand washing!
“WHO – Amazon; WHAT – new 1 million square foot fulfillment centre; WHEN -announced July 2018, built by the end of 2019; WHERE – Caledon Ontario; WHY -Town of Caledon officials negotiated a successful non disclosure agreement with Amazon.” Plain and simple.