Location: Alaska, where Americans sitting on their decks can see Russia.

Significance: A meeting between Donald the Doofus and Vladimir the Viper to determine the fate of a nation that was not invited to the meeting.

What the Spy Fly recorded …

Don: Long time no see! Still got those tapes?

Vlad: Hmm.

Don: Well, I would loan you my Golden Jet for a trip anywhere in the world if you would just keep that quiet, I mean, they keep digging Jeffy up from the grave and it’s interfering with my GREATNESS.

Vlad: Hmm.

Don: So. all I really want out of this “peace deal” is all the mineral rights to the rare earth metals in this country. Agreed?

Vlad: Hmm.

DON: And for making me richer than anyone EVER, you get to keep the land you invaded. Agreed?

Vlad: Hmm.

Don: Wow! I am the BEST DEAL MAKER in the HISTORY OF THE WORLD!

Vlad: Hmm.

Don leaves the meeting, carried to his Golden Jet by James Many Names, his faithful acolyte.

Vlad: Hmm. Release the tapes. This man is a идиот!

The way the Fly sees it … 

Introducing … Donald the Doofus, Benny the Butcher, and Vladimir the Viper.

These comic book world leaders are true villains in every sense of the word. Between them we have two war crimes criminals, a convicted felon, misogynist, racist, rapist, fraudster and tax cheat, a religious extremist/terrorist, a cold blooded killer, a malignant narcissistic personality disorder, and at least one psychopath. They control enough nuclear weapons to destroy the world.

They have different goals. One wants to reclaim his Motherland’s place of power in the world. One wants to claim a mythical land promised to him by a mythical supreme being, And the other wants to be Dictator of the World and bring about the Rapture.

As the story opens, war is raging around the world. Vladimir the Viper is focused on victory in his campaign to expand the Motherland. Benny the Butcher is intent on killing every inhabitant  who was living in his mythical promised land before he got there. Donald the Doofus is waging a chaotic economic war against any country who will not give him what he wants – golf courses, minerals, prime real estate in the Middle East, constant praise, the Pedo files – the list is endless and unpredictable.

Obviously, these villains have tremendous power, some more erratic than others, but still, a LOT OF POWER! The question is, how will the good people of Earth stop them from destroying the Planet?

***

In our next instalment, we begin the search for persons of goodwill willing to wear tight fitting graphene suits designed by Lululemon, Our logo contest begins today!
Saving humanity begins with us! The way I see it.

Actually, it is tale of two groups of citizen representatives, but I thought it was a catchy title – you know … “the best of times, the worst of times.” Few of us can complain about life here in Caledon, except for the unemployed, underpaid, unhoused and unheard. Most of our citizens are living reasonably comfortable lives as serfs in the Ford kingdom of Ontario. No bombs, no starvation, no Gaza or Ukraine here.

On the other hand, our Town of Caledon is currently divided between two groups of citizen representatives whose belief systems are worlds apart. One group believes that exponential growth and greed is a good thing. One group believes that smart growth and small is beautiful is a good thing. That philosophical divide makes it very hard to come to consensus on issues that pit greed and growth against ecological security and sustainable development. And, of course, in any set of opposing groups, there is always the fence sitter, whose disguise is compromise.

Over the last month I have been able to communicate with both groups, who I will call the Urban and the Rurban Teams. The current Urban group sees nothing wrong with the idea that in ten years Bolton will look like Brampton. They don’t want to oppose the developers in court, so just let them do what they want, build those communities, and former smart growth plans and By-laws be damned. If the law stops our growth, we’ll change the law! They believe in their hearts that this approach is right for Caledon.

The Rurban group on the other hand, believes in the Smart Growth planning for Caledon’s future created in the past twenty years under the Councils of Mayors Morrison and Thompson. These plans allowed for the protection of farmland, Greenspace, and places of ecological significance while allowing for communities to develop in appropriate places with future public transportation as a mobility culture goal.

In an article three years ago, I advised that if Caledon elected the wrong team of candidates, Caledon would look like Brampton in ten years. Doug Ford’s Bill 3 speeded that up with the Strong Mayors act and the offer of hundreds of thousands of dollars to build houses quickly. Who does this benefit more than anyone? The developers who vie for access to those previously untouched lands. Don’t believe me? Check who are the top developer donors who are “friends” of our current Premier. Their names are all on public record. At his fundraisers.

And several of them are alive and well and  influencing development in Caledon. The Urban Team is doing their bidding. The Rurban Team is fighting an uphill battle against power and money. So how do we help? We let the Urban Team of Mario Russo, Tony Rosa, Cosimo Napoli, and Annette Groves know that they will not be re-elected for the next municipal term if they vote to support a developer’s bid to destroy a newly created Caledon greenspace. The fence sitter will need to decide, regardless of the reports submitted to the Town on the viability of the destruction of this greenspace, on which side of the fence they want to be. Because one side is coming down.

“The only thing that is needed for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing.”

The way I see it.

***

The word rurban (rural+urban) refers to a geographic territory/landscape which possess the economic characteristics and lifestyles of an urban area while retaining its essential rural area features.