It’s My Future, Dad

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fuel  cell carA magazine arrived in the mail the other day from my car dealership – I found it opened up at my breakfast place to a spread about the new hydrogen fuel cell concept car billed as the "Next Generation Mobility" – my son smiled cleverly, "It's my future, Dad."

We have long been awaiting that fulfillment of dream to reality, of a vehicle that only vents water vapour from its exhaust pipe, and here it was in front of me with my morning porridge. Calculating three more years of high school, my youngest son's planning might be pretty good. The company that makes my vehicle has never failed to impress me, beginning with their research and application of re-generative braking energy storage and hybrid gas/electric vehicles. But hydrogen fuel was always the holy grail. The quandry was where to fill up?

The problem, of course, is production and storage. If you want fuel cells produced and hydrogen fuel available, then you need a production centre (electrolysis, or steam methane reforming) and a distribution centre. Many facilities across North America, recognizing the benefits of clean energy, now have specially protected storage areas for storing liquid hydrogen, and some even have the capacity to produce on site. Given that the safety risk of hydrogen can be even lower than that of gasoline, we should be more concerned about our dirty fossil fuel storage (and emissions) at the gas stations in our neighbourhoods.

In my community, misguided citizens and overzealous lobbyists have tried to portray hydrogen as an extreme safety risk for local residents. If you want to create a crisis, like climate change deniers do, you just co-op a gullible media. The latest attempts influenced local reporters and even Star reporter San Grewal to try their best to create an issue over the possibility that Town Council would even consider the concept of hydrogen fueled fork-lifts and trucks at the new Canadian Tire facility in Caledon. I live in Caledon. This project was advertised from the beginning as a high tech, clean energy facility, so the discussion of hydrogen fuel is no big surprise. In fact, it is a welcome proposal.

Hydrogen fuel cell use and even on-site hydrogen production have been taking place at facilities across North America for over a decade with a clean safety record. But the media misinformed and alarmed local residents with headlines declaring "Safety at issue" and "Project poses 'extreme' fire protection risk". Let me assure you that hydrogen fuel cells are far safer than disingenuous reporters and lobbyists.

Imagine energy refueling stations of the future with electricity and hydrogen outlets. They may eventually come to our neighbourhoods as long as we don't let the tiny, enraged mob with torches and pitchforks try to destroy the dream.

horse&buggyMy first choice for my young son was the horse and buggy, but we already have enough horse excrement in Caledon. Hopefully, when he buys his first hydrogen fuel cell car, he may even be able to get it filled up close to home. The future will come if we let it.

*****

Skid Crease, Caledon

Rob Ford: just your average crack-smoking, drunken ranting, gang banging politician

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Dear Rob,

ford2Please do not be so humble. You are not "just an average, hard-working politician" as you claimed Monday night on the Jimmy Kimmel show. You are exceptional in every sense of the word. Your brother is exceptional too in his support and praise of you. Kind of like the families of those rock star wannabes who try out for American Idol. The ones who can't hit a single note on key, but whose families think they have voices like angels and they get all upset when the judges kick them off the show. Last night , your exceptionality was so obvious that Jimmy Kimmel even recommended on International televison that you get  help for it.

It was particularly exceptional this past week when you held a press conference to challenge the Chief of Police of Canada's largest city to arrest you. You couldn't seem to understand that your history of drunk and distracted driving, famiiy violence, association with drug dealers, a video extortion scheme whose players were involved in murder, robbery and assault, and your televised racist and homophobic drunken rants may have attracted the Chief's attention.

For every nickel you may have saved the great City of Toronto, we paid for in shame a thousand time over.

No Rob, you are not average. Time to admit it.

*****

Skid Crease, Caledon

A Tale of Two Teens

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It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.  574825-eugenie-bouchardThere in the deep dry  heat of Australia, 19 year old Eugenie Bouchard made Canada proud, becoming only the 2nd Canadian tennis player to make it to a Grand Slam semi-final. With personality, poise, professionalism, and skill, she won the hearts of "Genie's Army" and Canadian fans alike.

 

BBOn the other hand, in the humid wet heat of Miami, 19 year old Justin Beiber made the Ford List of Most Stupid Canadians by driving drunk, high, and prescriptioned, street racing and speeding twice the limit in a residential neighbourhood, driving with an expired licence,  and resisting arrest.  With arrogance, entitlement, ignorance and irresponsibility, he lost the hearts of "Beilibers" and Canadian fans alike.

For every Justin Beiber or Rob Ford, there is a Eugenie Bouchard or Naheed Nenshi to balance the forces of dark and light.

 

Choose your role models carefully my children.

*****

 

Skis Crease, Caledon

Oi, gevalt, Stephen! Such a fershtinkiner putz!

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SaluteAh, Stephen, what you won't do to secure the loyalty of certain groups, well, at least the more conservative faction, in our multicultural Canadian society. Just think of the fundraising power, the business influence, the political lobbying power and the voter loyalty that your undying support for Israel will produce. Although your salute is a little too close to being insensitive. Oi vay!

And now, with your triumphant entry into Jerusalem, on your first actual visit to Israel, you and your business delegation will have secured a CRAP future. Although your welcome on the West Bank will undoubtably be cooler, there are not a lot of trade deals to win there, so no biggy. And besides, the way Netanyahu is building settlements, Palestine will disappear in a few years anyway. Displaced peoples are so inconvenient and get downright militant when they try to secure a homeland. I remember stories long ago of another group in the Middle East that tried this after World War 2 – lest we forget.Harperish

So Stephen, although you may try to hide your true intentions, we can see through the facade and know you are not playing with a full menorah. Your political researchers have served you well on how to maintain power in Canada. Such a macher, such a gonif!

Oi, Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

*****

Skid Crease, Caledon

Trump and Black in THE TROPOS OF TAURUS

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Reality TV fans rejoice! There is a new Canada/USA production in the works for a truly exciting summer reality show next year. It's being tentatively titled "The Tropos of Taurus" – used to be the Tropic of Cancer but the precession of the equinoxes changed everything.  Regardless, a little island along the Northern Tropic will be the setting for this gritty drama beginning on June 21, 2014.

RatI have only seen a draft of the script for the trailer, but the premise is gripping. The idea is to strand five cast members on the island and leave them there from the Summer Solstice until the Autumnal Equinox. Audience viewers have sent in their votes for the first season and the cast is made up of Donald Trump, Conrad Black, Kevin O'Leary, Dick Cheney, and a Rattus norvegicus. The only luggage the men can bring is their egos.

Can't wait to see which rat survives.

*****

Skid Crease, Caledon