The Bitch is Back

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I was justified when I was five
Raisin’ Cain, I spit in your eye
Times are changin’ now the poor get fat
But the fever’s gonna catch you when the bitch gets back, oh, oh, oh
Eat meat on a Friday, that’s all right
Even like steak on a Saturday night
I can bitch the best at your social do’s
I get high in the evening sniffing pots of glue, oh, oh, oh
I’m a bitch, I’m a bitch oh, the bitch is back
Stone cold sober as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch ’cause I’m better than you
It’s the way that I move, the things that I do oh
I entertain by picking brains
Sell my soul, by dropping names
I don’t like those! My God, what’s that!
Oh, it’s full of nasty habits when the bitch gets back.
I’m a bitch, I’m a bitch oh, the bitch is back
Stone cold sober as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch ’cause I’m better than you
It’s the way that I move, the things that I do oh
I’m a bitch, I’m a bitch oh, the bitch is back
Stone cold sober as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch ’cause I’m better than you
It’s the way that I move, the things that I do oh
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back

Lyrics by Elton John and Bernie Taupin

***

Politically correct? Take it up with Sir Elton.

Skid Crease, journalist, Caledon

Feed The Hens

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Feed the Hens (to the tune of Feed the Birds)
new lyrics by Skid Crease
(with full apologies to Mary Poppins, who would approve anyway)

Early each day
To the fields of the Farm
The little old chicken man walks.

In his own special way
To the people he calls,
“Come and care for our hen flocks.
Come feed our hens, show them you care
And you’ll be glad if you do
They want to lay eggs
But their feeder’s so bare
All it takes is a toonie from you.

“Feed the hens, Toonie a bag
Toonie, Toonie, Toonie a bag.”

Feed the hens.” That’s what he cries
While overhead wild birds fill the skies.

All around the old farmstead the hawks and the councillors
Look down as he sells his wares
Although we don’t see it, we know they are smiling
Each time Townsfolk show that they care.

Though his words are simple and few
Listen, listen – he’s calling to you:
“Feed the hens, Toonie a day.
Toonie, Toonie, Toonie a day.”

I’ll be doing a dress up video at the Farm to promote this one – our hens do not eat like birds!  All proceeds go to the Albion Hills Community Farm and the Caledon Backyard Hens Pilot Project.

🐣 little old chicken man Skid Crease, Caledon

A Full and Complete Apology

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Well, when it turns out you have done something wrong, apologize at once. In a recent blog entitled “Tiny Timmie,” I mistakenly attributed a quote to a person who dramatically made an emotional delegation to Council on Tuesday, June 5, 2018.

A totally different person had sent me a very degrading note recently, and I completely mixed up the exchanges. My deepest and most sincere apologies to the person who presented at Council. As you wrote to me today, you would never say or write anything like that. In the same vein, apparently someone using your name on social media created the posts that began our first exchanges. That error will be tracked.

For a person who prides himself on triple-checking his science facts, lesson learned to apply the same diligence to social media. The humble pie is all mine.

***

Skid Crease, Caledon

The Day After

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We’ll be fighting in the streets With our children at our feet And the morals that they worship will be gone And the men who spurred us on Sit in judgment of all wrong They decide and the shotgun sings the song.

I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution Take a bow for the new revolution Smile and grin at the change all around me Pick up my guitar and play Just like yesterday And I’ll get on my knees and pray We don’t get fooled again Don’t get fooled again.

Change it had to come We knew it all along We were liberated from the fold that’s all But the world looks just the same And history ain’t changed Cause the banners, they all flown in the last war I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution Take a vow for the new revolution Smile and grin at the change all around Pick up my guitar and play Just like yesterday And I’ll get on my knees and pray We don’t get fooled again No, no!

I’ll move myself and my family aside If we happen to be left half alive I’ll get all my papers and smile at the sky For I know that the hypnotized never lie Do ya? There’s nothing in the street Looks any different to me And the slogans are replaced, by-the-bye And the parting on the left Is now the parting on the right And the beards have all grown longer overnight.

I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution Take a bow for the new revolution Smile and grin at the change all around me Pick up my guitar and play Just like yesterday Then I’ll get on my knees and pray We don’t get fooled again Don’t get fooled again No, no!

***

Lyrics by Peter Townshend,  The Who