The Robo-Fine Olympics

Posted on May 30, 2013 by Skid

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BREAKING NEWS – The CRTC has just awarded the first in a series of medals to the winners of the Robocall scandal. There are three participants involved – the Right Wing (composed of the Conservative Party of Canada, the Wildrose Party of Alberta, the Progressive Conservative Party of Ontario, all associated MPs and MPPs, and RackNine Robocall Services), the Centre (composed of one MP from the federal Liberal Party of Canada), and the Left Wing (composed of the federal New Democratic Party). The current standings are as follows:

Gold: The Right Wing with a combined total of $327,000.00 in fines

Silver: The Left Wing with a paltry $40,000 in fines

Bronze: The Centre with a meagre $2,500 in fines

The fine totals are subject to change pending further investigations and charges by the CRTC. Medals will be awarded by Pierre Poutine in a quiet ceremony during the summer parliamentary recess; unfortunately, like the Senate audit process, the event will not be open to the public.

Further medals will be awarded following the 2015 federal election, where a complete reversal of the standings is anticipated. However, all parties will have to be "call" tested prior to the awarding of the final medals. Experts have concluded that "using Robocalls during an election is like using performance enhancing drugs during the Olympics – if you are caught, you are stripped of your medals and banned until you prove you are really, really sorry." Stay tuned.

*****

Skid Crease, Caledon

Stephen Harper: The Emperor Has No Clothes

Posted on May 22, 2013 by Skid

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Like the little child in the story of "The Emperor's New Clothes", we have seen Stephen Harper exposed and our innocence is lost. Any semblance of covering the Prime Minister in a cloak of accountability disappeared at Tuesday morning's news conference. It was the most shallow, evasive, and deflective speech ever delivered – blaming a parliamentary scandal of massive proportions on the actions of some unamed members of his caucus who should "get out of the room."

He attempted to deflect his own responsibility in the Duffy/Wright/Senate expenses scandal by resurrecting the ghost of the Liberal Sponsorship Scandal (for which then PM Paul Martin accepted the full and undeserved shame). He blamed the lack of Senate reform on the NDP and the Liberals for voting against Conservative bills while faiing to mention that the Senate reform bill has languished for 15 months in the PMO to avoid parliamentary debate. And most shamefully, he announced to the world that he is "very upset" about this "distraction" that is preventing hard-working, tax paying Canadians from getting back to work in Canada's Economic Action Plan.

He claimed to have the most accountable government in the free world, with the most stringent rules for guiding ethical decisions for politicians. The problem is, he forgot to follow them. Your accountability, Mr. Prime Minister, is indeed very transparent, and your nakedness is your own doing.

*****

Skid Crease, Caledon

Trudeau is the Real Thing

Posted on May 11, 2013 by Skid

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Reprint from April 16, 2013: response to Caledon Enterprise reporter Matthew Strader’s headline story on Justin Trudeau, Hype or Hope?

Yes, Matthew, there is a new leader of the Liberal Party of Canada. And, like your childhood dreams of Santa, he is very much the real thing. I had the pleasure and privilege of working with Justin aboard the MV Lindblad Explorer during a Students on Ice Arctic Expedition in 2005. We were the teachers working with a group of seventy-five international students and a host of scientists and explorers.

Our job was to prepare the students to give voice to a Youth Declaration on Environmental Citizenship. Our students presented that Declaration at the UN Convention on Biological Diversity (COP 11) in Montreal in December of that year. Their Declaration, thanks to the support of then Environment Minister Stephane Dion, was endorsed enthusiastically by the United Nations delegates from over 150 nations , and tossed into the shredder in 2006 by a newly elected Stephen Harper.

During those two weeks at sea, Justin and I shared many stories of our fathers, their profound influences on our characters, and our goals in life. I can assure you with complete conviction that Mr. Trudeau believes absolutely in the vision of leadership to which he espouses. He deeply feels that the education he received as a young man growing up at his father’s side, immersed in politics, traveling the world, listening to the conversations between his father and kings, presidents, and prime ministers was a gift given to him, one that he feels he must give back to his country.

Can he win the country? He will have to take Ontario and Quebec to accomplish that goal. And if my riding of Dufferin-Caledon is any bellwether, that will be a challenge. Historically in our riding, if the federal Liberal leader is riding a wave of popular support across the country, a top-notch, well-financed local candidate running a flawless campaign stands a chance of winning. When I was involved in politics here, I was told that you could run a dead cow as the Conservative federal candidate in our riding and it would win by a landslide. I predict that our current Conservative MP will retire to pasture before the federal election of 2015. That will open the slate to an interesting choice for Dufferin-Caledon voters.

Indeed, the next federal election will offer an interesting choice for all voters. I choose hope.

Skid Crease, Caledon

“Dirty Joe”: Oliver, Oil, & the Science of Politics

Posted on May 9, 2013 by Skid

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Let's get this right, extreme right – according to Joe Oliver, Minister of Natural Resources for Canada, all those climate change scientists and educators are "radicals funded by foreign interests", guilty of "exaggerated rhetoric", who should be "ashamed" of themselves for making "wildly inaccurate and exagerrated comments." So, who are these radical environmentalists?

The targets of his ravings include James Hansen (pre-eminent climate change scientist from Cambridge University), Al Gore (Bush-whacked out of the U.S. presidency, climate change educator and Nobel Prize winner), and probably all of the contributing scientists to the upcoming 5th Report from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC). Now he is turning his attention to the European Union for daring to suggest that Alberta bitumen is "dirty oil." Yes, DIRTY OIL, according to the cap and trade, carbon pricing policies of EU Ministers seeking to reduce their carbon footprints and fulfill their Kyoto and Copenhagen commitments. Noble, but not in Canada's economic interests.

Only yesterday, Oliver was attacking the European fuel-quality directive that labelled Canada's bitumen as dirty, claiming the EU draft document was "discriminatory towards Canadian oil and not supported by scientific facts." Discriminating, yes; not supported by science, no. I think it is worth mentionning, according to the most recent IHS CERA (Cambridge Energy Research Associates) reports, that the extraction of oil from bitumen produces 5 -15 times more greehouse gas emissions than conventional oil. So it is, without debate, a "dirtier" oil than conventional oil.

Given that fact, and the overwhelming consensus by climate change scientists that human activities are responsible for the current accelerated rate of climate change, Dirty Joe eloquently responded, "I do not deny the problem, which is a fundamental problem." Really?

Joe, you are full of dilbits.

Yes, there is a problem, alright. To paraphrase Pogo, "We have found the enemy, and it is our Conservative government."

*****

Skid Crease, Caledon

The Root Cause of Stupidity

Posted on April 26, 2013 by Skid

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For a moment yesterday, I thought Power and Politics was doing a comedy format. Pierre Poilievre, Conservative MP from Nepean-Carleton, had just declared on the esteemed CBC newshow, that “The root cause of terrorism is terrorists.” I didn’t know what was funnier, Poilievre’s failure to understand how ridiculous he sounded, or host Evan Solomon’s incredulous reaction. But when Solomon asked the hapless MP to repeat his comment, Poilievre did so, not once, but twice more for emphasis. It was then I realized he was absolutely ernest, and Canada was in serious trouble.

It came across as such a clear Conservative talking point that I had to research its origins. Sure enough, I found it in the depths of a Sun Media editorial penned on Saturday, April 20 in the Ottawa Sun by reporter John Robson. Robson had concluded his anti-Trudeau diatribe that day with the words: “So yes, the ‘root causes’ of terrorism are important. Namely terrorists and the ideas they choose to adopt.”

I e-mailed Mr. Robson the next morning to ask if he was offended or relieved that Poilievre hadn’t quoted him. To which he responded, “I’m neither. Because yes, it really is true and I’m glad he said it regardless of what inspired him to.” That response, beyond the offense of ending a sentence with a preposition, led me to conclude that the root cause of stupidity is stupid people.

My young son, a grade eight public school student, had seen the original broadcast, my reaction to it, and the Sun reporter’s response. I asked him what he thought. “Terrorists are the instruments of terror, not the root causes of terrorism. Those are two different things – even a kid knows that.”

Catching a terrorist is like splurging with your first paycheck; eliminating the root causes of terrorism is like saving fifty years for your safe retirement. The later requires the kind of long range thinking that neither Sun reporters or Conservative Reform Alliance Party MPs have yet to demonstrate.

*****

Skid Crease, Caledon