The Bitch is Back

I was justified when I was five
Raisin’ Cain, I spit in your eye
Times are changin’ now the poor get fat
But the fever’s gonna catch you when the bitch gets back, oh, oh, oh
Eat meat on a Friday, that’s all right
Even like steak on a Saturday night
I can bitch the best at your social do’s
I get high in the evening sniffing pots of glue, oh, oh, oh
I’m a bitch, I’m a bitch oh, the bitch is back
Stone cold sober as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch ’cause I’m better than you
It’s the way that I move, the things that I do oh
I entertain by picking brains
Sell my soul, by dropping names
I don’t like those! My God, what’s that!
Oh, it’s full of nasty habits when the bitch gets back.
I’m a bitch, I’m a bitch oh, the bitch is back
Stone cold sober as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch ’cause I’m better than you
It’s the way that I move, the things that I do oh
I’m a bitch, I’m a bitch oh, the bitch is back
Stone cold sober as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch ’cause I’m better than you
It’s the way that I move, the things that I do oh
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back
Bitch, bitch, the bitch is back

Lyrics by Elton John and Bernie Taupin

***

Politically correct? Take it up with Sir Elton.

Skid Crease, journalist, Caledon

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A Full and Complete Apology

Well, when it turns out you have done something wrong, apologize at once. In a recent blog entitled “Tiny Timmie,” I mistakenly attributed a quote to a person who dramatically made an emotional delegation to Council on Tuesday, June 5, 2018.

A totally different person had sent me a very degrading note recently, and I completely mixed up the exchanges. My deepest and most sincere apologies to the person who presented at Council. As you wrote to me today, you would never say or write anything like that. In the same vein, apparently someone using your name on social media created the posts that began our first exchanges. That error will be tracked.

For a person who prides himself on triple-checking his science facts, lesson learned to apply the same diligence to social media. The humble pie is all mine.

***

Skid Crease, Caledon

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The Day After

We’ll be fighting in the streets With our children at our feet And the morals that they worship will be gone And the men who spurred us on Sit in judgment of all wrong They decide and the shotgun sings the song.

I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution Take a bow for the new revolution Smile and grin at the change all around me Pick up my guitar and play Just like yesterday And I’ll get on my knees and pray We don’t get fooled again Don’t get fooled again.

Change it had to come We knew it all along We were liberated from the fold that’s all But the world looks just the same And history ain’t changed Cause the banners, they all flown in the last war I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution Take a vow for the new revolution Smile and grin at the change all around Pick up my guitar and play Just like yesterday And I’ll get on my knees and pray We don’t get fooled again No, no!

I’ll move myself and my family aside If we happen to be left half alive I’ll get all my papers and smile at the sky For I know that the hypnotized never lie Do ya? There’s nothing in the street Looks any different to me And the slogans are replaced, by-the-bye And the parting on the left Is now the parting on the right And the beards have all grown longer overnight.

I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution Take a bow for the new revolution Smile and grin at the change all around me Pick up my guitar and play Just like yesterday Then I’ll get on my knees and pray We don’t get fooled again Don’t get fooled again No, no!

***

Lyrics by Peter Townshend,  The Who

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Tiny Timmie

His latest online rant says it all as Tim Forster tries to justify for his partner his perspectives on last night’s Town of Caledon Council meeting:

Council continues to be dysfunctional as majority support funding website that hosts a Blogger that attacks residents, anyone who delegates council, council candidates, and councillors.

In a recorded vote,Thompson, Innis, DeBoer, Downey, Mezzapelli and Beffort could not understand that tax payors money should not endorse a website that condones authors who endorse who claim certain councillors and residents are ‘Witches, bitches, and must be eviscerated.’

Council may want to support their friends but they need to remember they are there to represent the best interests of their residents. This pack mentality has got to go,

Ah, Tiny Timmie, so challenged. First, and beyond your obvious literacy problems, is  that quote about “Witches and bitches must be eviscerated” – that  one is all yours – so harsh. I never said or printed anything of the sort, although I agree with you completely.

First, Tiny Timmie, Council is very functional and does not support the website to which you are referring – they put in advertising from time to time as deemed appropriate by Council.

Secondly, the website is very supportive of the Town and councillors who are working in the best interests of the community.

Thirdly, on my private blog I can say whatever I want about corrupt and misleading Councillors and their supporters who try to smear by rumour and innuendo all of the hard working Town staff and respectful Councilors. Your time is up.

Our Town staff are professional, certified in their fields, and cross-pollinated in their roles at the Town. This is a finely tuned and ever evolving network of forward thinking individuals who are working their hardest in the best interests of the community – all of Caledon. Our clear headed politicians, the ones you so easily condemn – Thompson, Beffort, De Boer, Innis and Downey – are trying their best to maintain sanity in an atmosphere of “Fire, Ready, Aim” by misinformed councillors and citizens.

I’d invite you out for a coffee to have a congenial face-to-face, but the last time I did that to a person with different perspectives I was told to “Eat a shit sandwich and die.” *

What would you like with your coffee, Tiny Timmie?

*Note of correction – the person who made the “Eat … die.” statement was not the person who made a delegation at Council on Tuesday, June 5, 2o18 regarding concerns about bullying. Full apology for any confusion the original blog may have created.

Skid Crease, Caledon

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Caledon Perspectives

“To permit ignorance is to empower it.”  ― Dan Brown, Origin

It is so interesting how two people, or two groups of people, can see the same person or situation from two totally different perspectives. The old saying, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” has an equal and opposite force that reads “Ugliness is in the eye of the beholder.”

Recently in Caledon Town Council, the quality of my writings was questioned because I had called out some local politicians and citizens for blogging misleading, smearing, and defamatory statements. I was accused of writing hate speech, bullying, misogyny, and not being a real journalist.

Now, I will admit that my political satires cut to the bone in exposing stupidity and corruption, but they are as far from the definition of hate speech as you can get. Not remotely close to being a bully. All of the good women in my life find me a respectful and supportive person. And my journalistic credentials are intact.

Only two days before, I had been given the “Golden Carabiner” by a local Bolton Scout Troop for demonstrating the qualities of “Integrity, Loyalty, Courage, Honesty, Fortitude, and Self-Control.” So confusing. Of course, children with no political agenda have much clearer perceptions of character. Regional Councillors trying to upgrade to the position of Mayor can get blinded by ambition.

At this same council meeting, one of the online communications for which I write was also called out for even associating with me. Keep in mind none of my truly satiric eviscerations are ever published in this Caledon online community newspaper – I reserve those for my private blog. My writings for the online newspaper are monitored by a very ethical editor who is extremely conscious of journalistic integrity and the readership’s sensibilities.

However, the usual suspects wanted the Town of Caledon to pull its advertising from this newspaper simply for associating with me as an occasional author. That sounds a lot like political correctness censorship in the extreme. Of course, this had nothing to do with the fact that the communication in question tends to publish good news articles and not ones that create a crisis.

Previously, this same very positive online community newspaper had its status questioned by these usual suspects because it has a catchy title that was deemed not worthy of a quality news publication. OK, let’s give it a classy title like “Caledon Perspectives.” That sure sounds like a real newspaper, right.

Oops. No. It turned out that particular title (previously Vaughan Perspectives, then GTA Perspectives) was created by Benedetto Marotta’s Solmar Development Corporation and the “editor” was on the marketing staff of that same corporation. The intent of that “community newspaper” was to create a crisis in the Town of Caledon over a local development issue to sway public opinion in favour of the development corporation. I guess you really can’t judge the quality of a publication by its name.

By the way, Caledon Perspectives Corp, ON -2153785, inactive for years, has recently amalgamated and changed its name to … wait for it … Solmar (Niagara) Inc. and Benny’s Two Sister Vineyard is located in … wait for it … Niagara-on-the-Lake. The Vineyard, incidentally, gets a 4 Star rating and their Restaurant 76, although rated noisy and on the pricey side, is known for great Italian dishes.

Now a real newspaper, the Globe and Mail, published an investigative report at the end of this week that actually documented this corporation’s development influence from Caledon to Queen’s Park. The alleged corruption and influence peddling in the Globe’s investigation was so clear that on Friday the leader of the NDP formally asked for the Ontario Integrity Commissioner to probe the allegations.

Those allegations implicate Spiros Papathanasakis (an unregistered lobbyist for the corporation), Maurizio Rogato of Solmar Corporation (and formerly on the board of the Caledon Chamber of Commerce), ex-Liberal Minister and MPP Glen Murray, and Liberal Premiers McGuinty and Wynne.

NDP leader Andrea Horwath was quoted as saying, “When you have a minister of the Crown being alleged to have engaged in this sort of activity and alleged to be intimidating a mayor of a municipality for the purpose of greasing the wheels for a property development, and then you have a premier who is accused of not acting on those allegations, those are some pretty serious problems.

Gee, you think? But when this issue of intimidating local politicians was raised recently at Town of Caledon Council, the same perspectives accusing me of hate speech tried to sweep it under the carpet and dismiss it as a non-issue. Well, it’s a big issue now, extending all the way to the credibility of Glen Murray’s new “dream job” as head of the Pembina Institute.

These allegations have the potential to extend into the influence applied to national and local media outlets and reporters, and to support for local politicians, organizations and citizens in favour of this same property development. Once the tangled web we weave begins to unravel, the house of cards falls down.

In my Caledon perspectives, those embarrassed by having their bad behaviour called out, might want to reflect on some old sayings that apply when this kind of “poor me” hypocrisy takes place. It’s a clear case of the pot calling the kettle black, or “If you can’t take it, don’t dish it out.”

Until then, I’m going to continue to dish it right back, only with more literary flair. No hard feelings, John.

The way I see it.

***

Skid Crease, journalist, Caledon

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